Blessings and Sacrifices

Inside the tough, tedious, sometimes very bitter rind of sacrifice lies an indescribably sweet nectar of blessing.

(This post is not to judge anyone who does not parent the way I choose to parent, nor to say anything at all about their style of parenting.  As in all of life, I believe each person has a responsibility to carefully and thoughtfully seek out the methods, styles, etc. of parenting that are truly in the best interest of their family and children.  I do feel very strongly about many of my parenting choices, but I want to say very clearly that I have to answer to my own conscience regarding what I do, and I don't hold anyone else to that standard.  So basically, this is just my experience and I'm not trying to judge!)

I began to write this post several months ago, after a very trying day which ended with a long bedtime battle to get our determined daughter to calm down and go to sleep.  It was hard.  Very hard.  I wanted very much to give up and just let her cry it out.  But I didn't.  I breathed deeply, deliberately relaxed my tense muscles, and silently prayed for grace.  I rocked her and sang to her and shhhed her and bounced and lay by her side, and she finally went limp and lay, warm and soft, cuddled in my arms, both arms around my neck and a hand twined in my hair.  I, too, went limp and just lay there, letting the relief wash over me like waves.  In that moment, the words with which I opened this post came very quietly and clearly to my mind.  I was filled with the sweetness of my child, the blessing of her trust, the physical enjoyment of those moments snuggled so close.  The fleetingness of the experience was impressed upon me.  I realized that I could not have all this, would not be able to savor it so, if I had chosen a different path of parenting earlier, when the sacrifice was so tedious and tough.  I would have other things to be doing, enjoying, experiencing, but not this moment.  And this moment was totally worth it.

And one more thing.

This is our little daredevil's latest feat of daring.  We left the bathroom door open for just a minute, unattended, and found her here -