Eden and Church Funnies

  Last Sunday we attended our Kilauea ward for the first time.  It seems like a wonderful ward - of course, the Honomu branch was so incredibly welcoming and reached out to each one of us that it would be hard to beat, but the Kilauea ward is very warm and inclusive as well.  We are excited to participate and serve there!  Eden and Lucy were absolute pumpkins, due to all the moving around and unpredictable scheduling, but thankfully Nate was on standby for work, so it was two on two.  During one of the talks, Eden was wriggling around to look at the family behind us.  She began to quietly sing, "Where are you, tall man? Oh, where are you?"  My eyes were on her, but I was trying to listen to the speaker, so my attention really wasn't.  Besides, she always has to fumble a little bit with her fingers before she can get one of them to stand up alone.
  Not this time!  Right on cue, she held up her hand and perfectly flipped off the family behind us!  I grabbed her hand and we all dissolved into (mostly) silent, shaking giggles.  Eden just looked at me, puzzled, innocent, and utterly hilarious.
  The week before that, when I went to pick her up from nursery, the Primary president couldn't say enough good things about her.  She was amazed at her verbal ability ("I can't believe I was standing there having a full conversation with a two year old!!") and the way she paid attention and interacted in Primary.  I almost fell over, though, when she said, "Her name is Belle, right?"  Apparently Eden does just fine introducing herself when we are not around!!
 (Actually, since we moved out here, Eden has taken to introducing herself as a character from her favorite movies or stories.  I probably mentioned it before, but it got pretty extreme during all our moving around.  She had so many new people asking her name every day that she got very good!  Its very rarely her own real name!  Although its funny, it can be a little odd/embarrassing, and I have struggled to know how to handle it.  Do I just let it go?  Correct her?  Laugh?  Pay no attention?  She's not doing it for my sake or play a trick or make a joke, she's sincerely introducing herself!  For a few days when it got really extreme, I found myself laughing and saying something like, "She wishes!" or "Now tell them your real name," but I felt bad about those responses - I don't want to be rude to my own daughter!  Its still funny, and still happens, but now I mostly just smile and only explain if necessary.)
  (Edited to add:)
  Saturday night, we packed up our dinner, and Nate took us all to a little school playground for an evening picnic.  There was a lovely little hill overlooking the play area, and as it was almost dark, only one other couple there with a little boy about Eden's size.  They were sitting on the hill, watching him play down below, when we got there, and we sat a little way off to eat our food.  As soon as Eden saw the playground, she begged to go play first, and eat later.  We let her go, and admired the confidence and agility with which she navigated the equipment.  She even climbed up that twirly ladder thing and after a few tries, successfully stepped over to the main play platform!  Her interaction with the little boy seemed minimal, but friendly.  A few minutes later, another mom and young boy, probably 5 or so, showed up.  Eden immediately wanted to make friends, and although we couldn't hear very well, we watched her join in a game of chase with great glee.  First the bigger boy, then Eden, then the little boy, went racing around the slides and stairs.  When they came around the other side, however, the order was reversed, and the little boy was running as fast as he could go!  He headed off the padded area, making a beeline for his parents, and as they got a little closer, we heard him screaming, "WAAAAA! Waaaa!  Moooommmmmyyy!!!! WAAAA!!"  and saw Eden leaping after him, roaring like a beast, with fingers hooked into claws!!!  I couldn't believe my eyes!!  We tried to reprimand a little, but we were all laughing in disbelief (the little boy's parents included.)  They sent him back down to play, and a few minutes later it happened again!  It was time for them to go, and Eden came panting up to eat some dinner.  We were talking about what had happened, and she kept asking, "But why?  Why was the little boy running away from me?"  We hadn't been close enough to hear what started it, so we could only explain so much, when suddenly she said, "Maybe because I bit him."
   "Really??!!"
  "No, not really.... We were just playing..."
  But later, as we got in the van and she mentioned it again, I asked if she really did, and she said yes.  Oh, dear.  I hope not!!!

Comedian

(This was from a month ago, when Nate had been gone for several weeks.)

Last night I was the comedian.  I totally brought the house down.  Mine was a slapstick act involving a mischievous green spiky ball and my efforts to restrain it.  The girls sat on either end of the table, Eden ensconced in her seat of choice, the Bumbo, and Lucy strapped into the booster seat with a tray.  It was basically a juggling act, but I kept dropping the ball and chasing it, or throwing it over my head, or tumbling with it on the floor, complete with silly faces and sound effects.  The girls were totally overcome with hilarity.
I never thought of myself as a funny person.  I never thought of myself as particularly outgoing, and definitely not the type to be crazy and wild.  Spontaneity and silliness were not my trademarks; dignity and reserve were much more my style. I was much more comfortable with understated than over-the-top.

Being a mom brings out every side of me - the good, the wonderful, the bad, the awful, and the downright, flat-out silly.  And I love it.  There is nothing more delightful than pure laughter rippling freely from my sweet little daughters' lips.  I don't care how silly, undignified, or crazy I have to be - its worth it. :)

Eden Update

Our little girl is getting so big!

Lucy - Eden loves her little sister.  She calls her "Lu-Lu" (and is the only person allowed to do so!;) and when she's feeling super affectionate will upgrade it to "Lulu-Baba" or "Lulu-beebee," which I think is her version of "baby Lucy."  Sometimes its even just "Lu-Ba."  Eden is always excited to find Lucy lying in some accessible place - the floor, the couch, the jumper - and snuggles right up to her, laying her head on Lucy's chest much as she does with Nate and me.  Of course that pretty much squashes Lucy, but she's a good sport about it! She's also discovered that its hilarious to stick her finger as far as she can in Lucy's throat and watch/hear/feel her reaction.  I can pretty much guess exactly what she's doing when I here a certain delighted and uncontrollable giggling coming from around the corner.
Eden is very much a girl when it comes to colors, pink and purple being her definite favorites.  If there's a choice, those are the winners, whether in food, clothes, flowers, or toys.  She also knows green, blue, black and white sometimes, orange, and yellow.
Hats are required for any outfit to be complete.
Back in December, I brought home a DVD of The Nutcracker from the library.  I didn't know how she would react, but it turned out that she loved it and would watch it for as long as I would let her.  She would dance and twirl and fall down, only to get up and watch and dance again.  When we visited California, she learned a lot more about dancing from her aunts and her three year old cousin, and her passion for the Nutcracker continued.  These days she asks for the music three or four (or ten!) times a day, always with the same urgency and enthusiasm, and her dancing now includes jumping, twirls without falling down, spinning (which does result in falling down), and all sorts of creative and dramatic flourishes and kicks.  She'll dance with her dollies, with some little paper bears I cut out for her, with Mama or Daddy, or by herself.  She wishes Lucy would get up and dance with her - she'll grab her hand and pull up on it, exclaiming, "Up! Up!" - but that won't be happening for a while.
Speaking of the Nutcracker, one of the things she learned from her cousin was that the Nutcracker died at one point in the ballet.  So for nearly a month, everything "died."  Daddy, Mama, dollies, Lucy, Eden herself...she's very drawn to the dramatic and emotionally intense side of life. We tried to derail that obsession by telling her he didn't die, he just got broken.  So now everything is "broke."
Eden loves to read!  She wakes up and the first word out of her mouth is, "Eat!"  If we don't respond appropriately, she'll make sure we got the message by signing eat, first on herself, and then on us!  When we get downstairs, however, she switches from "Eat!" to "Read!"  She loves Curious George, a series of old Disney books my mom gave us, and Beatrice Potter's Jeremy Fisher, but she's pretty much an omnivore.  Last night I found her sitting on her blanket, poring over a massage manual.  It amazes me how much she comprehends of the spoken word.  She's only just beginning to be very verbal, but her understanding of conversations and oral storytelling is astounding.
We started Eden with elimination communication from the time she was about two weeks old and went through all the ups and downs of that.  By ten months she would tell us when she had to poop, and she did all her poops in the potty (except the occasional miss) and I must say, that has been SO nice.  We pretty much gave up on catching the pee though.  I thought I'd have her potty trained before Lucy, and then before we came back to Alaska, but that didn't happen.  So we got down to business a few weeks ago, and really focused.  For three days I changed many wet panties, pants, skirts, and tights, and mopped/soaked up numerous puddles.  I gave up.  I decided she must not be ready, and resigned myself to putting her back in diapers.  But that night she woke up at 4:30 am, bolted out of bed and ran to to potty and peed.  And every twenty minutes, for the rest of the night, wanted to get up and go potty.  I was so over it!  But we've progressed in our potty training journey from that day, and now she's in panties, except for naptime and bedtimes. (That's been its own struggle. She would ask to go potty at least 5 times every time we put her to sleep, and it was seriously delaying the process.  We finally came down to declaring, "If you're wearing panties, you pee in the potty.  If you're wearing a diaper, you pee in your diaper."  Maybe it will backfire when we want to get her out of diapers for good, but for now its the only way to get her to relax and go to sleep.)
Some other concepts and words she's been experimenting with  include "NO!" "Happy!" and "Cranky." When she's being cranky, we ask her if she wants to go to the cranky corner, a little alcove at the end of our entry hall. This is not framed as a punishment or a time out, just as a place to go to get yourself under control. She usually says yes, takes herself over there, stands there for a few seconds, and then comes out saying, "Happy!" It melts my heart, though, when she comes up to me, out of the blue, and tells me she's happy.  That is what I want for her!

Oh yes! She calls herself "Eenie," and she says oopsies, "eepoo!"

One more thing.  This update is about three months old! Eepoo! :) She has grown and changed so much that I need to do a whole new edition already.  I didn't want to lose this, though.

my dream job + reality/a humbling day

I love being a stay-at-home mother.

No, let me say that again.

I LOVE being a stay-at-home mother.

It is my dream job.

I can't think of anything I'd rather be doing!

These were the thoughts that ran through my head last Monday night, as I looked at my precious daughters lying on either side of me in peaceful slumber.  The room was darkened to a comfortable twilight by blackout curtains, and the memory-foam of the bed was warm enough to make us a cozy snuggle, but not yet warm enough to make us a sweaty pile.  I re-played the day in my mind.

Busy, it was, but with the calm, ordered busy-ness of just enough time and tasks to fit well together.  We'd gone for a walk outside, since the weather was finally starting to warm a little. (A high of 35, but that's great compared to 18!)  We'd read stories upon stories.  We'd danced to the Nutcracker.  I made our Monday night dinner of beans and bread, warm and fresh and filling and tasty.  The laundry was not only washed, it was folded and put away!  The girls had gone down peacefully for a nap, slept well, been cheerful all afternoon, and bedtime had proceeded like clockwork.  Daddy was home from an all weekend flying job.  Yes, I loved my life. 

I thought of all the ways that my job was the best.  :)

I am my own boss.  

I don't have to think about what I'm getting paid, how many hours I lack or am overtime, or losing my job.

I get to work with my favorite people.

I get to choose when and how I do what I have to do, and even (to a certain degree) decide what, exactly, I do have to do.

I get to pour out my best, my love, my enthusiasm, my desires, without stint.

I get to confront problems and then find and implement the answer. (I love to do that kind of trouble-shooting, research, whatever you want to call it!)

If I want to change things - I can!  If I like the way I'm doing it - I don't have to change!

I nuzzled my toddler's hard little head, butted up against my cheek, and gently squeezed my baby's soft, dimpled arm, and gloried in my blessings.

And then there was Tuesday.

Smack in the face reality.

Mom-Fail.

(At least that's what it felt like.)

Everything just started off on the wrong foot! I was distracted, Eden was excitable and mischievous, and Lucy was needy.  The morning was frittered away on unimportant bits and pieces, as all my nice plans and goals dripped down the drain.  Panties were wet (multiple times), food rejected and thrown overboard, and toys strewn hither and yon.  My patience wore thin.  Lucy was hungry but then had a burp and wouldn't settle to eat, or she finally slept only to be rudely awoken by Eden's loving ministrations.  My patience wore thinner.  Naptime came, finally!  The "reset" button to the day, if you will.  My hopes were doused when it became a huge power struggle - Eden wouldn't go to sleep, I wouldn't let her get up, so we all stayed on the bed til 2 o'clock, with Eden whining, kicking the wall, kicking her mama, standing on her head, burrowing under the covers, sucking on the wrong end of her water bottle, triumphantly getting up to go to the potty and then coming back and throwing a fit all over again at the prospect of laying down.  And of course, me reacting to each of her actions.  I knew I was making it worse, but I was tired and fed up and couldn't seem to break the cycle!  More than once, she got quiet, and then quieter, and stiller, and was alllllmost asleep....and then realized it and woke herself up again with silliness.  

So we got up, and she was a whiny mess of tired toddler, and I was a fed-up mess of tired mama, and what did I do? 

Basically ignored her for the rest of the afternoon.  

I know.  Not something I'm terribly proud of.  

I just did other stuff, took care of some emails, fed Lucy, and benignly neglected my Eden. 

Not out of calm, thought-out, mommy strategy, but out of sheer "I can't deal with this right now!" desperation.

Funny thing is, she whined about for awhile.  She tried to get me to engage. (I did; I wasn't being mean, I just took care of whatever she really needed and then left her to her own devices.)  And then she just started playing on her own.  She crashed her little bike and the kiddycar on the kitchen floor.  She scattered her (dry) beans all over.  She dumped out the Duplos, and piled her stuffed animals under the coffee table.  Books were here, there, and everywhere!  The house was a disaster.  

I just tuned out the whiny-ness and the mess, and wrapped myself up in a bit of calm.

Then I had to change Lucy's diaper.  I buzzed her chubby tummy, and made silly sounds at her.  Suddenly I heard Eden's giggle, and looking over, saw her leaning on the axle of her upside-down bike, watching us, and laughing uncontrollably.  She was a pumpkin, past the stage of irritability and coming into the slap-happy giggles.  

Who can resist a little girl giggling? Everything I did made her laugh harder, until I was laughing out loud too.  Reset.

We giggled and were silly, ate an improvised dinner, had a splashy bath and went to bed.

I still love being a stay-at-home mom, even on the hard days.  But those humbling days do make me not take myself so seriously!

A Corrupting Influence (a break from all the heavy stuff)

I just had to share this little experience!

On Thursday, Nate brought home the mail at his lunch break.  I was SO excited to get the Ensign for this month, and eagerly ripped off the plastic cover to flip through it while the girls ate their lunch.  H, of course, was intrigued by my interest, so I told her we'd look at it together after our quiet time.

She didn't forget, and as soon as we were up and at 'em again in the afternoon, she wanted to get it out and read it.  We didn't get any farther than the inside of the title page!  There we found a lovely painting of the five wise virgins, and since she wanted to know what it was about, I began to tell her the story of the 10 virgins.  

"Once there were 10 beautiful girls.  They were all good girls, but five of them were wise, and five were foolish.  Wise means kind of smart, someone who thinks ahead, and foolish means someone who doesn't use their head - someone who doesn't get ready and think ahead.  Anyway, these girls were all invited to go to a very special party, a wedding party where someone was going to get married.  They  were so excited!  They got on their best, prettiest clothes - see, beautiful dresses and flowers on their heads!- and then waited for the time to come.  Each one of them had a special little lamp in her hand,  a lamp that they could hold up and light the way for all the special people coming to the wedding when the bridegroom came.  See those little lamps?  What else to they have in their hands? See those little bottles?  Those are bottles of oil.  The wise girls thought ahead and made sure they brought extra oil to burn in their lamps, but the foolish girls did not.  

While they were waiting, guess what happened? It got later and later, and pretty soon, they all fell asleep.  It was dark, and they were all sleeping when suddenly, far in the distance, someone yelled, "The Bridegroom cometh!"

They were all still kind of asleep, but then they heard it again!

"The Bridegroom cometh!"

Hurry, hurry, everybody, straighten out your clothes!  All your lamps have gone out!  Quick, let's light them!  But remember, what was the problem?  The five wise girls brought extra oil, but did the foolish girls? No!  Oh, no!  Their lamps were gone out and they had no oil to light them!  They asked the wise girls, "Please, please, let us borrow some of your oil!" 

But the wise girls said, "We can't give you any!  Then there won't be enough for any of us!  Run, run quickly to the store and buy some!"

But while those foolish girls were gone, guess what happened?  The bridegroom came!  And there was a whole group of people, cheering and dancing and playing music, and the five wise girls got to run in the front with their lamps burning brightly! (a little poetic license;) Everyone was cheering, "The bridegroom cometh!  Hurray! Hurray! The bridegroom cometh!"

They all went along to the bride's house and then they all went inside! And because it was night, they shut the big gates, boom!, and locked them so no bad guys would sneak into the party.  It was such a great party!  There was light and tasty food and music and dancing, and everyone was so happy!

After a while, those five foolish girls came running up to the door, and they knocked on the door, bang! Bang! Bang! 

"Let us in! Let us in!" 

But the bridegroom said,"I'm sorry, I don't know who you are! I can't open the door!"  And those foolish girls were left outside.  They didn't get to go to the party at all.

This was all told in half-narrative, half-dramatized voice, and H. loved it so much that she had me repeat it three times in a row!  Her favorite part was hearing me shout, "The Bridegroom cometh!"  and then running around and dancing and holding up her "lamp" while cheering and shouting it herself. ;)  Lots of fun!

Awhile later, her mama came to get her.  Of course, at that moment, the adults are all in a hurry and the children are all like molasses.  I hustled H. upstairs to get the blanket she'd brought, and we found Eden in the spare bedroom, investigating a box of prepackaged alcohol wipes.  (Nate was nearby.)  H. wanted to know what those little things were, so I told her. 

"They're alcohol wipes.  Come on, lets go!"

"Can I have one?"

Aaahhh! Let's go! "Sure! Here, here is one for you.  Now let's go!  Your mama is waiting downstairs!"

"Oh! OK.  I'll save it til I'm grown up!"

What?! That's strange. Whatever! 

She still dawdled.  I tried to gently hurry her along.  No luck.  At the top of the stairs, she totally stalled.  You know how little kids' pockets and hands never quite seem to fit together properly?  She was trying to stuff it into her pocket without success, and would not go until it was safely stowed.  I told her to just go downstairs and her mama would help her, but she started to hyperventilate and lock her knees so I offered to just put it in her pocket myself.  That calmed her down.

"And so my mama won't know.  It will be a secret!  She can't know!  Hide it from her!"

Again, what?! 

"Honey, its ok! You can show it to her and she'll help you use it!"

"No! No! We have to keep it a secret!"

Ok.  Whatever.  It was in her pocket, we finally made it downstairs and they were out the door.  

Fifteen minutes later, as Nate and I were getting ready for a date, I heard my text alert ding.  It was from H.'s mom.  Apparently, H. couldn't hold her secret in any longer and so she confided to her mother that I had given her alcohol to drink, and it was hidden in her pocket!!!!  

AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

That was why she told me she'd "save it until she was grown up!" That was why she wanted to keep it as secret from mommy! and why she freaked out about taking it downstairs in the open!

So here I am, a corrupting influence, teaching my little charge bible stories in the afternoon and then sending her home with a little alcohol in her pocket.  Yep, that's me!

(Thankfully her mom trusts me, and carefully explained what I'd actually given her and how it was used.  I'd hate to think what kind of memories of me she'd carry through her life if not!)