I am sitting in my dark living room, feeling the finally cool air from a 20-something inch fan blow point-blank at me from four feet away. We were sweaty today. Sitting still, sweaty - drops rolling down Lucy's little temples, tickling maddeningly on my scalp, making Eden's curls stand on end. But finally we are cool, resting, dark, dry, and they are asleep. Nate is gone, so I'm listening alone to Alex Boye and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sing "Going Home" and letting the tears roll down my cheeks.
Am I the only one who misses my family this much? I love my little family of my own, I love having our own home and being the mom and the wife. Its not that I want to go home and live in my parents' house. As much as I have appreciated the times we've lived with either of our families, I am thankful to have our own home, our own space and routine. Its not that I want to "go home" to my childhood or youth, either. I remember plenty of times, then, yearning for my life as it is now! But, OH!, I want to go home! I miss my mom and my dad, my sisters, my brothers, their families! I miss California in the summer, in the fall and winter, in the spring. I miss the colors, the smells of dust, of rain, of dry weeds and grass growing lush. I know its not perfect - its a real place, after all - but I MISS it so much!
I just want to go home.
Showing posts with label Hawaii. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hawaii. Show all posts
Monday, September 1, 2014
Monday, July 7, 2014
Quick Update on Our Life
Time is flying by, and my little babes are growing up! I wanted to write some of these moments down and preserve them, since the journal has been gathering dust in a box for many months now...
Lucy is our little love. I know I'm so much more relaxed with her at this age than I was with Eden, partly because of the difference in our circumstances and the toll that took on all of us, partly because Eden was the first and I didn't know any better, and partly because when Eden was this age (17 months) Lucy was born. Having neither another baby nor even another pregnancy so far, Lucy reaps the benefits in patience and energy. She is also just a different personality than Eden, which certainly makes a difference in our relationships! However, she doesn't just lay back and rest on the baby laurels. She is very steadily and persistently growing up right under my nose. Every night I look at her, sprawled on the bed, and think, "When did she get to be so LONG!" She loves to put on shoes, even my high heels, and hats to a lesser degree. She's saying all sorts of words, from "bucket" to "monster," (with the appropriate big eyed, apprehensive look), and signs & says, "More More More," and all the others from baby signing time. She just recently potty trained, so now her cute little bottom is in panties during her waking hours. Sometimes she'll come running and tell me, "Potty! Potty!" but mostly she will just hold it til I take her, and since I take her at reasonable intervals, we stay clean and dry! I love it! :) Lucy loves her Daddy, going to church, tasty food, and when Eden wakes up, and expresses her excitement at all of the above, and anything else, by letting off an ecstatic scream at the top of her lungs. She has to cover her mouth if she wants to scream so in the car, but otherwise it just makes me laugh to see her so very excited. Reading is, of course, a preferred activity, and her favorite book, currently, is an illustrated edition of the Wizard of Oz, that Arlie and Tory sent to us. Its too longwinded to read to them, but we page through it and tell the story, hooking it to the pictures. She chooses it every time I send her to go get a book, and will even sit and look through it on her own! Lucy is Eden's devoted sidekick. She sometimes suffers for her proximity (kicked, pushed, water dumped on her head, steam-rolled, etc), and Eden has several times been caught inciting her to do what I just told her not to, but I love to see them sitting side-by-side against the kitchen wall, eating snacks together, with Eden's arm casually draped over Lucy's shoulder, just happy to be together. And Lucy knows very well how to come running to Mama with a tattle to share, and is learning to fight back. :/ One of their favorite (?) new things to do is, if Lucy says, "I want it!" (which sounds a lot like "Ah-ahhnt!") Eden gets right in her face, nose to nose, and shouts back, "No, I want it!" and then its Lucy's turn and then its Eden's turn, on and on until/unless I put a stop to it. They are definitely quarreling, but with an odd spark of perverse delight in both of them. But Lucy is a lover, very kind and compassionate. If she even has a hint that you are hurt or upset, she will come over and lavish hugs and kisses all over, until you basically have to tell her to stop. And if Daddy is giving out kisses before he leaves for work, she makes sure he gives us each one so no one is forgotten. :)
Eden is also growing up, and I see more and more signs of the three year old she will be in a month! More self-control, more desire to understand, more ability and desire to follow directions, to mimic actions in a meaningful sequence. Extreme imagination and burning desire to "play with someone," and pretend all day long. If you see any pictures of her from the last 6 months, chances are she is wearing her ball-gown, a pink plaid maternity shirt with the neckline taken in to prevent shoulder slippage. Her other favorite outfit consists of a large onesie (her "ballerina-tard"), a purple sparkly tutu from Grandma Sue, and thick purple tights. I don't know how she stands wearing them, as most days I am melting into a puddle of sweat in our house, but woe betide anyone who dares to refuse her the chance to wear them! Eden loves to watch ballets, and as I prefer that media fare to most Disney (and certainly all recent films!) she's seen Peter and the Wolf, Swan Lake, The Nutcracker (more times than I can count!) and Cinderella, and begs to see them again and again. We do a lot of dancing to satisfy the ballet itch! Just the other week, she spent the day at a friend's house while Nate and I went to the temple, and watched Frozen. Duhn-duhn-duhn!!! We'd avoided it til now, but she came home, singing, "Let it Go!!! Let it Go!!!" and draping herself in a purple blanket to be a very dramatic Elsa. That was ALL we heard about for the next week, and it was driving me CRAZY! I don't know how all those with kids addicted to it, stand it!!! She even told me, "I don't have to hold your hand or stay on the sidewalk on our walks. I have the freezing powers in my hands and I can just FREEZE the cars so they don't get me! For real!!!" That was a little scary! So I checked out "St. George and the Dragon," illustrated by Trina Schart Hyman, from the library. Worked like a charm. Frozen was relegated to the sidelines, and we read George, danced George, pretended George, and retold George at bedtimes and naps. Forget Elsa, Eden was now Una, the dragon lurked around every corner, and Daddy was the Red Cross Knight! Of course, Eden's character is such that while she willing fled for her knight when danger presented itself, she also wanted to get in there and be right by his side fighting the dragon. :) Another time, while we were reading Beatrice Potter's "Two Bad Mice," the mice were angry to find that the food wasn't real and began throwing things out the windows. Eden said, "If I was there, I would throw them out the window!" And while watching Cinderella's sisters ruin her dress, she exclaimed, "They shouldn't do that! If I was there, I would rip up their dresses!!!" She has a strong and innate sense of protective and proactive justice! As all little ones, Eden certainly gets into her share of naughtiness, and recently, when she does, will call out, "Don't see me!" or if we are right there watching, will cover her eyes with her hand while she does the mischief, as if we can't see her if she can't see us. It is hilariously exasperating! Mostly, though, those moments come about when she is over-tired, or hungry, or bored and seeking attention. When she is good, she is very, very good, and she certainly wants us to be happy with her. She tells us often and expressively, "I LOVE you, Mommy! I love you so much. I love you two, three, ten!" Nate and I sometimes take turns with the bedtime routine, and sometimes she will pre-emptively request my presence at bedtime before we have even sat down for dinner. Her eyes are still a sparkly hazel,though she says they are white and green, and sometimes insists they are pink (as pink is still the queen of colors around here) and her hair, which she insists is blond, is caramel brown corkscrew curls. I love it! We are learning how to help it stay curls and not just frizz out as it gets longer.
I am doing very well myself. A few months ago, I got inspired and cut myself a set of side-swept bangs. Due to a cowlick in the front center of my hairline and fairly curly hair myself, I've never had bangs, but somehow I thought it was a good idea.... When I got started, I kept thinking, hmm, that's not quite right, and snipping more, and more, and suddenly I looked at myself and thought, "AAAHHHHH! What have I done!!!??? Put down the scissors, bobby pin it all back, and hope it grows quickly!!!" But after a few days of experimentation, I figured it out and actually was quite pleased with it! However, I did realized that Hawaii is the wrong place to cut bangs or layers around your face. They make you so much hotter, and not in the desirable way! So while I don't regret doing it, mostly I just roll or clip them back unless I'm going on a date without children to an air-conditioned location. ;) Our ward is wonderful. Our house is what we need. Our job provides for us and allows Nate to be home an extreme amount of time. Our life is good. :)
Lucy is our little love. I know I'm so much more relaxed with her at this age than I was with Eden, partly because of the difference in our circumstances and the toll that took on all of us, partly because Eden was the first and I didn't know any better, and partly because when Eden was this age (17 months) Lucy was born. Having neither another baby nor even another pregnancy so far, Lucy reaps the benefits in patience and energy. She is also just a different personality than Eden, which certainly makes a difference in our relationships! However, she doesn't just lay back and rest on the baby laurels. She is very steadily and persistently growing up right under my nose. Every night I look at her, sprawled on the bed, and think, "When did she get to be so LONG!" She loves to put on shoes, even my high heels, and hats to a lesser degree. She's saying all sorts of words, from "bucket" to "monster," (with the appropriate big eyed, apprehensive look), and signs & says, "More More More," and all the others from baby signing time. She just recently potty trained, so now her cute little bottom is in panties during her waking hours. Sometimes she'll come running and tell me, "Potty! Potty!" but mostly she will just hold it til I take her, and since I take her at reasonable intervals, we stay clean and dry! I love it! :) Lucy loves her Daddy, going to church, tasty food, and when Eden wakes up, and expresses her excitement at all of the above, and anything else, by letting off an ecstatic scream at the top of her lungs. She has to cover her mouth if she wants to scream so in the car, but otherwise it just makes me laugh to see her so very excited. Reading is, of course, a preferred activity, and her favorite book, currently, is an illustrated edition of the Wizard of Oz, that Arlie and Tory sent to us. Its too longwinded to read to them, but we page through it and tell the story, hooking it to the pictures. She chooses it every time I send her to go get a book, and will even sit and look through it on her own! Lucy is Eden's devoted sidekick. She sometimes suffers for her proximity (kicked, pushed, water dumped on her head, steam-rolled, etc), and Eden has several times been caught inciting her to do what I just told her not to, but I love to see them sitting side-by-side against the kitchen wall, eating snacks together, with Eden's arm casually draped over Lucy's shoulder, just happy to be together. And Lucy knows very well how to come running to Mama with a tattle to share, and is learning to fight back. :/ One of their favorite (?) new things to do is, if Lucy says, "I want it!" (which sounds a lot like "Ah-ahhnt!") Eden gets right in her face, nose to nose, and shouts back, "No, I want it!" and then its Lucy's turn and then its Eden's turn, on and on until/unless I put a stop to it. They are definitely quarreling, but with an odd spark of perverse delight in both of them. But Lucy is a lover, very kind and compassionate. If she even has a hint that you are hurt or upset, she will come over and lavish hugs and kisses all over, until you basically have to tell her to stop. And if Daddy is giving out kisses before he leaves for work, she makes sure he gives us each one so no one is forgotten. :)
Eden is also growing up, and I see more and more signs of the three year old she will be in a month! More self-control, more desire to understand, more ability and desire to follow directions, to mimic actions in a meaningful sequence. Extreme imagination and burning desire to "play with someone," and pretend all day long. If you see any pictures of her from the last 6 months, chances are she is wearing her ball-gown, a pink plaid maternity shirt with the neckline taken in to prevent shoulder slippage. Her other favorite outfit consists of a large onesie (her "ballerina-tard"), a purple sparkly tutu from Grandma Sue, and thick purple tights. I don't know how she stands wearing them, as most days I am melting into a puddle of sweat in our house, but woe betide anyone who dares to refuse her the chance to wear them! Eden loves to watch ballets, and as I prefer that media fare to most Disney (and certainly all recent films!) she's seen Peter and the Wolf, Swan Lake, The Nutcracker (more times than I can count!) and Cinderella, and begs to see them again and again. We do a lot of dancing to satisfy the ballet itch! Just the other week, she spent the day at a friend's house while Nate and I went to the temple, and watched Frozen. Duhn-duhn-duhn!!! We'd avoided it til now, but she came home, singing, "Let it Go!!! Let it Go!!!" and draping herself in a purple blanket to be a very dramatic Elsa. That was ALL we heard about for the next week, and it was driving me CRAZY! I don't know how all those with kids addicted to it, stand it!!! She even told me, "I don't have to hold your hand or stay on the sidewalk on our walks. I have the freezing powers in my hands and I can just FREEZE the cars so they don't get me! For real!!!" That was a little scary! So I checked out "St. George and the Dragon," illustrated by Trina Schart Hyman, from the library. Worked like a charm. Frozen was relegated to the sidelines, and we read George, danced George, pretended George, and retold George at bedtimes and naps. Forget Elsa, Eden was now Una, the dragon lurked around every corner, and Daddy was the Red Cross Knight! Of course, Eden's character is such that while she willing fled for her knight when danger presented itself, she also wanted to get in there and be right by his side fighting the dragon. :) Another time, while we were reading Beatrice Potter's "Two Bad Mice," the mice were angry to find that the food wasn't real and began throwing things out the windows. Eden said, "If I was there, I would throw them out the window!" And while watching Cinderella's sisters ruin her dress, she exclaimed, "They shouldn't do that! If I was there, I would rip up their dresses!!!" She has a strong and innate sense of protective and proactive justice! As all little ones, Eden certainly gets into her share of naughtiness, and recently, when she does, will call out, "Don't see me!" or if we are right there watching, will cover her eyes with her hand while she does the mischief, as if we can't see her if she can't see us. It is hilariously exasperating! Mostly, though, those moments come about when she is over-tired, or hungry, or bored and seeking attention. When she is good, she is very, very good, and she certainly wants us to be happy with her. She tells us often and expressively, "I LOVE you, Mommy! I love you so much. I love you two, three, ten!" Nate and I sometimes take turns with the bedtime routine, and sometimes she will pre-emptively request my presence at bedtime before we have even sat down for dinner. Her eyes are still a sparkly hazel,though she says they are white and green, and sometimes insists they are pink (as pink is still the queen of colors around here) and her hair, which she insists is blond, is caramel brown corkscrew curls. I love it! We are learning how to help it stay curls and not just frizz out as it gets longer.
I am doing very well myself. A few months ago, I got inspired and cut myself a set of side-swept bangs. Due to a cowlick in the front center of my hairline and fairly curly hair myself, I've never had bangs, but somehow I thought it was a good idea.... When I got started, I kept thinking, hmm, that's not quite right, and snipping more, and more, and suddenly I looked at myself and thought, "AAAHHHHH! What have I done!!!??? Put down the scissors, bobby pin it all back, and hope it grows quickly!!!" But after a few days of experimentation, I figured it out and actually was quite pleased with it! However, I did realized that Hawaii is the wrong place to cut bangs or layers around your face. They make you so much hotter, and not in the desirable way! So while I don't regret doing it, mostly I just roll or clip them back unless I'm going on a date without children to an air-conditioned location. ;) Our ward is wonderful. Our house is what we need. Our job provides for us and allows Nate to be home an extreme amount of time. Our life is good. :)
Friday, March 21, 2014
Aloha, Hawaii!!
So glad to be back! One of my cousins reminded me that when I returned from BYUH, all I would talk about was how much I loved it and wanted to return. The time has flown since then, and although I still held many fond memories, I couldn't conjure up that desperate longing to return anymore. Yesterday afternoon, driving along the steaming road just after a cloudburst, the sun pouring golden in our windows and a fresh breeze cooling us just enough, I was overwhelmed with happiness at being back. I don't specifically remember praying to return, but I'm sure that I did, and I am so glad that the Lord led us to this unexpected opportunity to come back with my family!!
Of course, the flights over were a little exciting, beginning with Eden throwing up in the van on the way to the airport, all over the floor just after coming through security, and in tandem with Lucy as we landed in Seattle. Thankfully the man sitting on the other side of Eden jumped in to help hold her sick bag so I could catch Lucy's puke in her sick bag! The girls did very well, though, and received many compliments as we landed in Kona.
The Kona landing strip looks like you're landing on the moon! Barren, black volcanic rock is all around, not a scrap of green or even sand in sight. My first thought upon disembarking was, "Whew! This is NOT the place to be wearing jeans!" I've worn skirts every day since then and I think I shall continue!
We're still looking for a place to live, but even in that somewhat stressful atmosphere, it is just so nice to be together as a family again! To eat dinner together almost every night, to lay down together for bed and wake up with Daddy in the morning, to just enjoy BEING together, not feeling like we have to squeeze perfection out of every small moment because too soon we will be apart again. Such a blessing!
We're still looking for a place to live, but even in that somewhat stressful atmosphere, it is just so nice to be together as a family again! To eat dinner together almost every night, to lay down together for bed and wake up with Daddy in the morning, to just enjoy BEING together, not feeling like we have to squeeze perfection out of every small moment because too soon we will be apart again. Such a blessing!
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