I am sitting in my dark living room, feeling the finally cool air from a 20-something inch fan blow point-blank at me from four feet away. We were sweaty today. Sitting still, sweaty - drops rolling down Lucy's little temples, tickling maddeningly on my scalp, making Eden's curls stand on end. But finally we are cool, resting, dark, dry, and they are asleep. Nate is gone, so I'm listening alone to Alex Boye and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sing "Going Home" and letting the tears roll down my cheeks.
Am I the only one who misses my family this much? I love my little family of my own, I love having our own home and being the mom and the wife. Its not that I want to go home and live in my parents' house. As much as I have appreciated the times we've lived with either of our families, I am thankful to have our own home, our own space and routine. Its not that I want to "go home" to my childhood or youth, either. I remember plenty of times, then, yearning for my life as it is now! But, OH!, I want to go home! I miss my mom and my dad, my sisters, my brothers, their families! I miss California in the summer, in the fall and winter, in the spring. I miss the colors, the smells of dust, of rain, of dry weeds and grass growing lush. I know its not perfect - its a real place, after all - but I MISS it so much!
I just want to go home.
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